Patrick Day


Friday, December 9th, 2016

Last month my wife and I attended a church in Woodbury with my oldest son and his family. The worship pastor put a slide on the media screen that said:
Lord, take me deeper than my own feet would ever wander.

I love word pictures, and this prayer struck a chord in my heart. “Yes,” I thought, “this is what I want. I can only go so far on my own.”  So I prayed, “Do Lord bring me deeper than my own feet would ever wander.”

Five minutes later, I wanted to take the prayer back when I realized how dangerous it could be. A season of deep depression some years back brought me closer to God than I could ever have come to on my own, through excruciating suffering. A prisoner I am still mentoring established a deep relationship with Jesus Christ by means of an eight-year prison sentence. A fellow Gideon has gone deeper than his feet could ever have wandered through Parkinson’s Disease. I could give a dozen more examples of people who went deeper only through tragedy, disease, or a horrible accident.

Can a person really take a prayer back that he has prayed with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength? I wanted to claim this prayer early this morning, trusting God with all my heart, and now three hours later I am hesitant and afraid of what this could mean. Can I put an addendum on the prayer: “Only if it’s an awakening wrought by the Holy Spirit or a momentous event, not  a physical, mental, or emotional catastrophe?”

I’d like to say there is a resolution to my ambivalence, but it has not been revealed to me yet. I think God wants me to trust Him more than I ever have before. In the meantime, I’m hoping for a Plan B.

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